Today’s digging/redditing session led me to this video of presumptive Republican presidential nominee Senator John McCain (henceforth referred to as pRpnSJMcC) on Jimmy Kimmel attempting to talk smack about his barbecue skills:

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Kimmel’s cliche, waka-waka zinger aside, I think it’s clear pRpnSJMcC hasn’t barbecued a rib in his life. Actually, that’s a pretty strong statement given how long he’s lived, but certainly not in a good long while and not on a regular basis.First, there’s the staccato stammering, excessive blinking, and repeating words to buy himself time to make shit up. Usually clear signs of prevarication, but I will concede that in pRpnSJMcC’s case, it could be attributed to his general suckiness at public speaking and/or general weirdness. I digress, but the guy looks like he’s wearing an Edgar suit when he tries to smile doesn’t he? Anyway, more telling is his boasting of being a “barbecue…grill…person”, not just because of the bad grammar, but because an actual “barbecue…person” would not include grilling in his/her skill set, and certainly not place it on par with barbecuing. Furthermore, people even halfway serious about barbecuing can instantly rattle of a detailed description of how they make their ribs. It’s true, go ahead and test it. PRpnSJMcC on the other hand, can only manage to blurt out a few obvious keywords.

Upon further analysis, I guess Kimmel could have been trying to stanch the bleeding and bail pRpnSJMcC’s ass out by lobbing that tired punchline. Conclusion, I call bullshit! I don’t think John McCain knows jack about barbecue, which isn’t so bad, but lying about it is class-A douchebaggery.